When Does my Summer Begin?

Today I allowed myself to go back and listen to the songs from last week. I was surprised by both how bad and how good the songs were. In most cases the deciding factor was my voice. It really comes down to how disgusted I am. Other factors get considered, or course. But all things being equal, my judgment always comes down squarely on how bearable I find my voice.

Luanne fails by this criteria. In fact, if you haven’t heard the songs yet, I would skip this one altogether. Basically, I was trying to write a rock and roll number, a la Iggy Pop. Okay, needless to say, I am neither Iggy, nor pop. It’s a lumbering exercise, and I sound like I’m drunk. At the time, I thought I was creating something wonderful. Sung by someone else, it might be bearable.

On the other hand, the first song I Recorded, Let’s Call it a Draw, sounds pretty good. Incidentally, I started out trying to write a rock and roll song, but it turned to be closer to Country. Besides my voice, the lyrics leave something to be desired. As Wendy pointed out, they’re a bit disjointed.

The third song is called Not Now, and my thirteen-year-old son Eli said it was my best song ever, and that it took his breath away. High praise from a teenager. Like the last (and best song of the bunch, in my opinion) it is about the positive impulse overcoming fear and dread. I agree it is a good song (the vocal is not bad). I like the chords a lot. They’re dramatic in just the right places.

Luanne we’ve already talked about.

The first two people to listen to this called it creepy. (Good evidence it’s creepy) It’s supposed to be funny: love from a stalker’s point of view, done a la Fred Astaire–that era of love song. I speak the verses, which don’t come out exactly how I wanted. Too harsh sounding. I like the chords,and I think when I redo it I can clean up most of the vocals. Yes, I like this song, which relies on irony–though only partially succeeds.

The next song–Six Days of Rain— is morbid, plain and simple. It sounds likes like Johnny Cash. In other words, it takes place on a low register, and that it is vocally stark. I like it–and it was one of the easiest songs to write. This one incorporates a couple random phrases I’ve jotted down over the years, and came out of me at the end of a long (two day?) rain storm–which was highly unlikely for this time of year. (Wendy likes it, because it has her name in it)

Next is Jesus and Satan, another spoken song, where I again shoot for humor through irony–and which I only partially succeed. (Apparently) Jesus and Satan as Siamese Twins! Isn’t that funny?

The last song, I’ve Been Scared, is my favorite. My vocals are horrible–partly because it’s a hard song to learn, with a distinct and difficult melody line. And yet it redeems itself. It came to me in a flash of light. This song alone justifies my project of writing a song-a-day for a week. I was by this point open to my creativity, my muse, whatever you want to call it. It’s also why I feel I need to keep up this tempo of song-writing. I don’t want to lose the momentum Ive created. I can hear Iris Dement doing this song, and doing it justice–expressing the pathos it creates. It’s received positive feedback. (Not the high praise I think it deserves)

By the way, my renewed mission and challenge is to write a song-a-week for the remainder of the summer. Maybe I have to start a new blog titled song-a-week. The title of this particular post refers to the fact that I have created so much work for myself this summer vacation, and that it begs the question of why do I do this to myself? The partial answer is that I don’t want to teach high school for the rest of my life. It’s too hard. As implausible as it seems, I’d like to break into songwriting. What could be more absurd–here in Nevada County? The other part of the answer is that I sincerely enjoy writing songs, and would rather do nothing more on my break.

My summer has clearly begun–it’s just not the kick-back summer I thought I wanted.