Despondent

I’m despondent. My car broke down yesterday. I know, it happens to everyone. As my wife says, what do I expect if I buy a car for $3000? But 3K seems like a lot of money to spend on a car to me.
Frankly, my $3000 car has cost me a bundle over the last three years. Still, I’ve bonded with it. I can’t imagine just letting it go. Besides, it’s a truck–the first one I’ve ever had. I can’t imagine living without a truck again.

What probably bothers me the most is that I’ll have to get the money from my mother, regardless what I do. I’m grown up; I have a grown up job. I even increased from 60 to 100% at work recently. Which means we’re supposed to have a lot more money to play with. Instead, we’re just as broke at the end of each month.

We cut up our credit cards. If we had a card, the balance would just go up and up, and we’d be paying outrageous interest every month. Instead, we borrow the money from mom, and we eat crow every month.

Thing is, I don’t even feel depressed–I don’t think. Thanks to Abilify.

I wrote a song about it yesterday. Now I’m doing a lot of cleaning. I’d like to eat cookies and stuff, but now I’m on a diet, so I’m not supposed to use food to comfort myself. All I’ve got is herbal tea. Great.